Rediscovering Death

If it has been long enough between deaths of your beloved – if you have been one of the lucky ones – I’d like to redirect your attention to the phenomenon of rediscovering death.
Somehow, it never seems possible that things will change. In the midst of small, if any, changes, everyday life can take on [...]

Ryo-oh-ki

I feel like I have been crying for days. My eyes are swollen almost completely shut, which means I will be misspelling a lot and not giving a crap. My cat is sick with FIV, and we are going to have to put her down soon.
Matt and I are ridiculously close to Ryo-Oh-Ki. We got [...]

BPA Free?

In the light of recent news, health studies and their scary, sometimes anxiety-inducing results, I’ve been giving serious consideration to the idea of going natural.
I don’t mean THAT kind of natural, perv. I mean slowly going natural with everything I use and abuse. Get off all the medication I can. Stop buying and using plastics. [...]

So, it’s been busy…

I’m taking the precious few minutes I have before Matt gets home to do something utterly unimportant. I’ve been balls to the wall for weeks – working late and hard, out of town trips, people dying, people being born, deck staining and a zombie movie shoot – plus as usual, too much freelance. So now, [...]

Pre-surgery Blues

I can feel it coming on like a train bearing down on me, the hair on my neck standing up as if the reach of locomotive headlights had just touched the tip of my track-bound feet. My spine feels loose, as if it could be ripped right out of me by the wind like a [...]

Long time ago

Been a while since I last came ’round these parts. I reckon my attitude has been that maybe writing about ever’ little thang isn’t necessarily helping me out much, but much has changed… much has changed.
I find myself working harder than ever before to change things. I finally have begun – and stuck to [...]

They KNOW me

I was watching Scrubs the other day while working, and this line by Dr. Molly caught my attention:
“Show me a guy who wants to get married, has a good job – and it’s like snoozeville for me. But if you know a 35-year-old who still lives at home with his mom and he still thinks [...]

Will Johnson is making me cry.

Sometimes I just need to cry and cry and cry, not because life is terrible or anything is wrong other than what it always wrong – just because. I don’t try to pretend there’s nothing to be sad about, but the weight of good in my life always has the scales tipped ridiculously in my [...]

what am I doing #109

I am starting to wonder again what I am doing with my life, like a dog that won’t stop chewing on a sore foot. I make changes and they are slow…  slooooow to show progress, but I still haven’t done anything to be myself. My life has been spent supporting and enjoying other peoples’ genius [...]

Crazy Monday

The band had to cancel the last few dates – just about everyone is sick now, not just P. I am really proud of them for soldiering on without him those two dates. Looks like they did pretty good:

Damn I love that Cooley:  “…but I’m still glad I work here.”
I got [...]

Texas, V.8

Because of my damn head injuries and “lifestyle choices”, I don’t know how many times I have been to Texas, but I clearly remember five of them – the first time I rode out there with DBT in the Freedom and met sweet Marianne, which I think was also the first time I saw Slobberbone; [...]

I’ll miss you.

Amy

Sometimes in my haste to hustle myself to some point of unknown happiness, I forget to do the little things that actually matter.
While it’s terrible to realize, sometimes it’s what I need to set my priorities straight.
My job with the DBT has always been nebulous, at best. Besides webmaster, I maintain the band’s incomplete archive  [...]

Fail!

Ah well. I made it 21 days. A fight with someone I love and the violent depression that ensued drove me down to the bar, where I tore it up. I luckily had good friends there, and they saw me through, listened to me whine and got me home safe. Today, I am ashamed I [...]

Change (comes from within)

I have a friend who often told the many bums on the street of Athens, when they asked him for change, that “Change comes from within.”
Funny, but true.
I don’t think I have adequate words for how much I love my life right now. I just glided through a magnificent set of rock shows by the [...]

Yeeep yep yep yep yep yep

Still makes me laugh. Children’s TV today just doesn’t hold a candle.

Fuck 2008 right in the ass.

God dammit I will be so fucking glad when this god-forsaken year is finally over.
I can’t blame the sleepless lonely worthless year on anything but myself, in truth, but son of a BITCH I am gonna try.
I have some goddamn resolutions for 2009, as I sit here an hour away from the anointed year.
Get my [...]

Once in a while, insomnia fucking rules!

Okay, “rules” might be the wrong way to put it.
I should be asleep now so I can drive home for Christmas tomorrow, but noooooo.
Instead I update websites clean kitchen avoid dog farts as much as possible eat bologna sandwich surf the web.
Ahhh, some of the joys of being up at 4am…
Fuck You Penguin

Amelia

In the slightest moments of sleep I actually got last night, I managed to have a dream about my daughter. She had green eyes and a pet bunny and was full of love. Her name was Amelia.
I don’t have children, but I think it’s funny that even my dreams used the name I always wanted [...]

Almost Tranquilized

I’m sure it’s just the weather or lack of sleep, but I am righteously depressed today.
I’ve been on such a high that I could spit on birds a-flyin’, due I reckon to my final acceptance of the fact that the only person who can change things is the one maneuvering my own eyeballs. Accept, change. [...]